“My Angels Are My Protectors”: Roughriders’ A.J. Allen remembers his friend, Kyle Coleman
A.J. Allen knew Kyle Coleman for only a few months, but even in that short time he left a permanent impression on the Saskatchewan Roughriders linebacker.
Hence the tattoo on Allen’s left arm — an enduring, heartfelt tribute to his first roommate at the University of Guelph.
Their friendship essentially resulted from the luck of the draw. Entering university for the fall semester in 2016, they just happened to be assigned the same dorm room.
“In terms of actually meeting Kyle, it wasn’t until late August,” Allen recalls. “But when you’re going into university, you get a chance to see who your roommate is beforehand.
“He reached out to me beforehand on Instagram and Facebook and said, ‘Hey, I’m going to be your roommate. Nice to meet you. I heard you play football. That’s awesome!’
“He was a great guy — absolutely second to none.”
Allen remembers someone who was always smiling, endlessly helpful and immensely popular. That is also the recollection of Kyle’s father.
“He was an amazing young man,” says Scott Coleman, whose son was only 18 when he passed away, tragically and suddenly, on campus on the morning of Dec. 10, 2016.
“It was definitely a shock to us, because Kyle was a very talented, sports-minded boy.
“He played hockey most of his life and when he went to university, where he met A.J., he stopped playing hockey. He was a really smart young man. He got top grades and was on the honour roll.”
Allen quickly came to appreciate all those attributes, and others, while spending part of every day with Kyle for nearly four months. Not once did the then-Guelph Gryphons linebacker suspect that anything was bothering his friend.
“I had no clue,” Allen says. “He was a guy who could hide it really well. He always showed like he was happy. He always showed like he was having a great time.
“Even the night before he passed away, he went out to go have some fun and he had a great time.
“Then I saw him (back at the university residence). We ordered some pizza and we joked around. Everything was fine … and then it was a total surprise.
“Ever since then, that’s why I personally try to ask people how they’re doing — actually how they’re doing — and try to be that type of leader or just a person in someone’s life.
“If it can happen to him, it can happen to anybody. You truly never know.”
Allen did know this: He wanted to do as much as possible to ensure that Kyle is remembered and that other people who encounter mental health issues are able to get the help they so desperately need.
The tattoo was applied “as soon as I could afford it,” the easygoing Allen says.
On display are Kyle’s initials, one of the two numbers (78) that most frequently adorned his hockey sweater, and a message: “My Angels Are My Protectors.”
Allen wore Kyle’s other preferred number — 52 — for the Gryphons during the 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2021 Ontario University Athletics seasons.
“Kyle is one of my whys, personally,” says Allen, the Roughriders’ fourth-round selection in the 2020 CFL Draft. “He’s one of the reasons why I keep playing football, because this game is gruelling.
“A lot of people don’t make it to this level, so he has definitely impacted me in terms of building that resilience and in trying to be a great person outside of football, because he didn’t play football. He was just a friend.”
Growing up, Kyle enjoyed playing baseball and riding his dirt bike, but hockey and ball hockey were his primary sporting passions.
A talented defenceman, he played hockey at the AAA level in the Barrie Colts organization and ball hockey for the New Tecumseth Xtreme. He also made it a priority to excel academically.
Never lacking for friends, he attended Banting Memorial High School in Alliston, Ont., before enrolling in university and beginning his studies in business.
Allen made the move to Guelph from his hometown of Burlington, Ont., and quickly immersed himself in his studies (criminal justice and public policy) and football.
“I didn’t get to spend a ton of time with Kyle, because obviously you have practice and you have your schoolwork to do and everything else, but the time I did spend with him was very impactful,” Allen says.
“He was like a peace, if that makes sense. He was someone you came home to and gave you no problems. He tried to make you laugh and wanted you to be happy. When I was having a tough time in my first year, to come home and have peace was awesome.”
Now he resolves to be that peaceful presence for others.
“In terms of asking about plays or something like that, I’m someone you can come to,” Allen continues. “Or, if you’re having a rough day or having a tough time — if something at school is bothering you or there’s something with a relationship — you can come to me. I want to be a good person to everybody, because you never know.
“I didn’t know with Kyle. I wish I did, but I didn’t know. That does push me to be not only a better football player, but a better person, because that’s important.”
It was also important for Allen to reach out to Kyle’s family — Scott, his wife Brenda, and their son Nicholas (now 22).
After making the Roughriders’ roster in 2022, Allen made a point of sending the Coleman family a green and white practice jersey.
No. 78, of course.
On the number 7, Allen wrote: “I know it’s not much, but you guys are always with me. All love always. AJ.” Allen’s full signature appears on the 8.
“Kyle would be very proud that A.J. made the CFL,” Scott says from the family’s home in Alliston, Ont., 90 kilometres north of Toronto.
Allen’s jersey is a cherished possession at the Coleman household, where a purebred Silver Labrador Retriever also resides.
“Braxton was born the day Kyle passed,” Scott notes. “He is our guardian angel and he gives us so much love. He is extremely important to us.”
So is the cause of mental health awareness, which has been enhanced by the phenomenal success of the Kyle Coleman Memorial Golf Tournament.
Since being introduced in 2017, the tournament has raised $160,000.
Last year’s record amount of $33,400 was generated by a field of 232 golfers.
All 256 spots for the 2023 tournament, scheduled for Sept. 16 at Barrie’s Bear Creek Golf Club, have already been filled.
“Registration has continued to rise from our first tournament,’” Scott says, “and this is a statement of how well the community supports our event and our cause.”
That being to raise awareness about mental health.
“It’s definitely a testament to Kyle,” Scott tells a 59-year-old interviewer. “So many people have reached out to us — people who have lost a child or lost somebody in their lives to mental health or suicide. People we don’t even know have reached out to us.
“Mental health touches everyone, everywhere. I’m 58 and, in our day or our era, nobody ever talked about mental health — not to the extent that they do today.
“With the impact of social media, it’s different from when we grew up. The stress and pressure that young adults and children face with social media and all the technology is mind-boggling.
“When we were that age, we’d pick up the phone or ride a bike over to a friend’s house. Now there’s not as much intimacy, not as much of a personal connection, and not as many one-on-one connections.”
But there are nonetheless times when social media, for all its ills, can be used beneficially. For example, a Facebook page helps to spread the word about about the Kyle Coleman Memorial Golf Tournament.
“It is just another way to remember him,” Allen says, “and another way to appreciate the time we did have with him.”
