The Saskatchewan Roughriders have added a big name — La’Akea Kaho’ohanohano-Davis.
Length of name, apostrophe and hyphen included: 27 characters.
As far as this dusty historian can determine, the Hawaiian-born linebacker — whose signing was announced Thursday by the CFL team — has tied Jean-Olivier Gagnon-Gordillo (who had a stint with the Roughriders in 2006) for the longest name in franchise history.
Next in line, one character off the pace, is 2008 draftee Jean-Francois Morin-Roberge.
Close behind at 25 characters are Terrance J. Williams Bennett (2001), Christopher Nwabuisi Ezeala (2021) and, sort of, Jerome Thomas Frankenberger (1960-61).
Frankenberger was commonly referred to as J.T., however, so the calculation of 25 may be exaggerated in his case. So sue me.
Frankenberger owns the Roughriders’ longest documented all-alphabet surname (13 characters).
He is one letter ahead of Tyron Brackenridge (2011-15), Cliff Featherstone (1978), James Hickenbotham (2004), Alex Pierzchalski (2014-15), Dave Vankoughnett (1989), Brian Vertefeuille (1976) and Jeremiah Weatherspoon (2011).
And now, in comes Kaho’ohanohano-Davis — a name-game-changer.
Before hyphen: 14 characters (13 letters, one apostrophe).
Overall surname: 20 characters (18 letters, one apostrophe, one hyphen).
At the other end of the spectrum, there is a tie in the shortest-name sweepstakes. Deadlocked at six characters, first and last names included, are Ray Ash (1959), Ab Bole (1919-21), Ken Don (1960-61, 1963), Nat Dye (1964-65), Tim Guy (1977), Ed King (1998), Bob Lee (1963) and Vad Lee (2016).
Honourable mention goes to Regina-born player agent Rob Fry.
We now interject a short name: Pete Shorts (1995-96).
And a long name: Ted Long (1993).
The most common surname: Unsurprisingly, it is Smith (33), followed by Brown (31), Jones (31), Johnson (28), Williams (28), Robinson (15), Thomas (15), Miller (14), Jackson (12), Walker (12), Campbell (11), Clark (11), Harris (11), Wilson (11), Anderson (10), Davis (10) and Lee (10).
On the Green and White’s all-time list, by the way, Green (5) is exceeded by White (7).
Mind you, if you factor in Nealon, Andrew and the other four Greenes, the Green/Greene count increases to 11.
Now that we are completely off the rails, what is the most valuable Scrabble surname name in Roughriders history?
If hyphens and apostrophes are excluded from the equation, Lubo Zizakovic (36 points) looks to be the champion, followed by Mike Waszczuk (35)
But if we go all-in, Kaho’ohanohano-Davis (38 points) will be tough to beat.
(Any other nominations?)
GILROY IS HERE
Roughriders equipment manager Gordon Gilroy is already pondering the Kaho’ohanohano-Davis dilemma.
The name plate of a typical CFL jersey allows for 14 characters, as evidenced by the example of Roughriders receiver Kian Schaffer-Baker.
Some tailoring was required in 2018, 2019 and 2021, when Jordan Williams-Lambert was a 16-charactered Roughrider.
But now … hmmm … 20 characters!
What to do?
“I hope he goes by ‘Davis,’ ” Gilroy says with a chuckle.
BOOM TIME
The Roughriders’ all-time Harris list increased to 11 documented affiliations when a free-agent quarterback of note was signed on Feb. 14.
In early March, the Roughriders fattened their Walker count to 12.
Quarterback Trevor Harris is now preparing to work with a revamped receiving corps that is to include two free-agent signees who have CFL all-star credentials — Derel Walker and Jake Wieneke.
The occupants of the running backs’ room will not be as new to Saskatchewan. Jamal Morrow and Frankie Hickson are to once again pose a formidable dual threat at tailback.
Where could all this lead?
“We’re going to be an explosive, high-tempo scoring machine,” first-year offensive co-ordinator Kelly Jeffrey told Michael Ball on CKRM’s SportsCage early this week.
“We’re going to create explosions where we can in the run game. I’m a big believer in play-action and utilizing heavy protection to push the ball down the field. We’ve got a quarterback who can do it.
“We’re going to have some tempo. We’re going to be able to let Trevor do some no-huddle stuff and see some things that he sees, but we’re also going to be able to pull back when we need to and use the clock and grind out some first downs with the run game when we can.”
The objective is to inject some electricity after Saskatchewan finished eighth in offensive points per game (19.8) last season.
“We’re going to be a scoring machine,” Jeffrey reiterated. “We’re going to score touchdowns. We’re not going to walk away with field goals.
“However we’ve got to get across that goal line, we’re going to do it — whether it’s a heavy play-action game, whether it’s a dominant run game, whether it’s getting some different personnel closer down by the goal line. We’re going to walk away with touchdowns. “Like I said, we’re going to be an explosive, high-tempo scoring machine. That’s my philosophy and we’re going to sell it.”
THE GREAT 98
- Entering Friday’s WHL road date with the Saskatoon Blades, the Regina Pats’ Connor Bedard was averaging 1.27 goals per game. Doug Wickenheiser averaged 1.25 goals per game for the 1979-80 Pats, for whom he scored a franchise-record 89 times. Fellow Pats legend Dale Derkatch also scored 1.25 goals per game in 1983-84, when he sniped 84 times in 67 contests.
- Some naysayers have been heard to opine that Bedard will struggle in the NHL due to a lack of size. Reminder: Patrick Kane, the proud owner of 1,232 career points, is 5-foot-10 and 177 pounds. Bedard is 5-10, 185. Sidney Crosby (5-11, 200) is hardly a behemoth. Wayne Gretzky, by the way, was a wiry 6-foot-0, 185-pounder. Bryan Trottier’s dimensions: 5-11, 195. Et cetera.
- Kudos to the Saskatoon Blades for the efficient manner in which they handled a swarm of spectators (14,768!) on Sunday, when Bedard and friends visited SaskTel Centre. The security-clearance process at the main entrance was brisk and painless. I thought it would take an hour or three for the parking lot to clear after the game, but I was back on the road three hours after the faceoff.
- The Blades’ video team should be commended for a game-day bit in which Aidan De La Gorgendiere’s teammates attempted to spell his surname. The entire video spelled hilarity.
- D-E … L-A … G-O-R-D … (bzzzzzt!)
- The Blades work tirelessly to create a first-class product on and off the ice. They deserve robust fan support even when Bedard and the Pats are not in town.
PET PEEVES
- Overzealous, oblivious memorabilia-seekers who ask Bedard to sign, say, 20 items or, worse yet, hang around near his home in Regina. Honestly, people …
- Lame, tired defences of fighting in hockey. The fisticuffs are especially abhorrent in the junior ranks, in which players are being paid a pittance.
- People who prefer to lecture as opposed to engaging in a conversation, without realizing how one-sided the interaction inevitably becomes.
- NHL teams that rely on the neutral-zone trap while charging steep prices for tickets. Reminder: You are in the entertainment business.
- Attendees at NHL games who stand up while a game is in progress to wave at a television camera. Sit down!
ROLL CREDITS …
- Nice people who deserve a plug: Aaron Anderson, Dick Weir, Kathy Burrows, Mario Alford, Jayden Dalke, Andre Bolduc, Sharron Esch, Pat Johnston, Daniella Ponticelli, Mark Johnston, Brenda Fieger, Kaare Vedvik, Kelsi Palmer, Cindy Thompson, Todd Lumbard, Lorne Puffalt, Bonnie Templeton, Tyler Wawryk, Brad McLeod, Gavin De Souza, Greg Buchanan, Kurt Price, Mike Montor, Darrell Hogg, Gordon Gilroy, Joey Walters, Dr. Tom Robinson, Colette Pelletier, Connor Hood and, with congratulations on being inducted into the media wing of the Canadian Football Hall of Fame, Regina’s own Vicki Hall. Yes, Hall is in the Hall!
